


The Finals

by Luetisch



Category: GOT7, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Dancing, Healing, M/M, Maknae line, Multi, a lot of dance talk, bts - Freeform, i loved writing this please appreciated uwu, nothing explicit but read the notes if you’re sensitive!, polyamorous maknae line, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2021-01-22 10:31:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21300584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luetisch/pseuds/Luetisch
Summary: “I didn’t mean to wake you up.”And it wasn’t what he had meant to say, not when the sore of his heart was laying on his living room couch, not when his throat was closed up with feelings unsaid, not when he had felt the deepest urge to just lay down with them.But maybe that was exactly why he said what he said.“Don’t worry,” Taehyung muttered.“Just let Guk sleep.”Jimin nodded mutely, but Jungkook opened his eyes anyways.
Relationships: Choi Youngjae/Im Jaebum | JB/Park Jinyoung, Jeon Jungkook/Kim Taehyung | V/Park Jimin, Kim Namjoon | RM/Kim Seokjin | Jin, Mark Tuan & Jackson Wang, Mark Tuan/Jackson Wang
Comments: 4
Kudos: 21





	The Finals

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lunaquarius](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunaquarius/gifts).

> Hi!  
A lot of things like choreographies, events etc. are taken from reality, links can be found at the end! :) 
> 
> Trigger warning: Past emotional/physical abuse (nothing explicit) & eating disorder (also not explicit)
> 
> Please leave kudos and comments!

Finals  
-  
Taehyung still remembered the first time he walked into the practice room. Obviously, it had been for the casting, to really try out his luck and see wether he could steal a spot in beyond the scene.  
And that really meant gathering up every little ounce of talent he had. 

This crew was on a whole other level. Additionally, that casting was his chance to get everything he ever wanted, but no pressure, obviously. Obviously.

Taehyung still remembered when he’d first met beyond the scene. They were at the Finals, this international dance championship that his past crew had actually been no where near good enough to attend. 

Twenty groups always performed on the finals, but only the first three were ranked at the tournament, the other groups were told their ranking via mail. 

Taehyung’s past crew ranked 20th. But that didn’t matter because their team was already falling apart. 

Ironic for a group called teamwork.

Taehyung still remembered how they had stepped off the stage, how his crew members kept calling out each other’s mistakes instead of apologizing for their own. 

He remembered that moment very clearly because he had excused himself to head to the changing rooms and there, crammed up in the changing room, was beyond the scene, in this giant group hug, crying. 

“It’s fine if we don’t win anything, I just want you all to give it your best shot. We’ve been training for months and I believe in all of you” someone, who Taehyung couldn’t see, said.  
“We’re here because of our passion for dance. We worked hard for this and we won’t stop now just because our dear Jiminie broke his foot.”

There was another sob, whose owner Taehyung could actually spot. It came from a boy with dyed hair. Now, that wasn’t a very good description as they all had dyed their hair in unnatural colors. 

The boy that had sobbed was standing with his back towards him, his shoulders shaking as he kept crying and mumbling something, red hair swaying as he shook his head.

“I know we always said this group wouldn’t function without Jiminie, Hoseok,” came the reply to his mumbled pleas.  
“But this isn’t to separate us from him. We’re doing it for him. Because he would want us to. In fact I will call him right now, although he’s sitting in the audience and will disturb everyone. I will call him and I will ask him.” 

Suddenly Taehyung spotted a blonde mop of hair moving around. Then a phone was picked up and a call was made. It rang one time before it was answered.

“Joonie?” a hint of confusion came through the speakers.  
“Hey Jiminie, we wanted to check in with you to make sure you know that we’re doing this performance in your honor, is that alright with you?”  
“Oh Joonie,” a shaky laugh came from the other side. “Tell the team you’re not doing this for me but for the whole crew. We worked very hard for this and we deserve to perform here and my broken foot isn’t going to stop us. I swear to god you’re going to get that first place and I’ll be here jumping on one leg screaming the loudest.”

The whole crew interrupted into giggles.  
“Now boys come to the phone.”  
The others cautiously waddled closer together.  
“On three.”  
“Bangtan Bangtan one more time.” 

They shouted, raising their hands in the air. Now, that group should’ve maybe been called teamwork because giving your crew a speech in the changing room and hugging the train wreck of nerves away, that’s some next level teamwork typa shit. 

Beyond the scene suddenly noticed him which somehow led to all of them jumping up.

“Oh! You’re the boy from teamwork we talked about!” the one with red hair exclaimed. His mouth falling into a heart shaped grin. Wait, Hoseok. Yeah.  
Why did they talk about him though? 

“Oh yeah.”  
He scratched his neck in a nervous attempt to accept a compliment. Something he kind of sucked at. 

“The performance was great!” another boy with orange hair said, bouncing up to him.

“I mean you could spot a bunch of mistakes but the choreography was actually quite complicated and interesting. It just showed that teamwork’s teamwork was off and that you didn’t practice enough,” a white haired boy chimed in.

Now that was something nobody would ever say. It was rude, although it was a compliment at the same time. Taehyung still couldn’t bring himself to care for multiple reasons: a) white haired boy was right and b) he didn’t really stand behind his crew after all the fights that hit a little too close to home.

The guy with red hair, Hoseok, had scolded the guy with white hair anyways. But the latter just shrugged before getting up.

“We’re on in a few minutes, we should warm up,” he said and that’s how they made their exit.

And that’s also how Taehyung got to watch the most perfect performance he had seen in a life time. Not only were they completely accurate in their moves, they were also synchronized and just showed that they actually were a team. 

One part of the choreography had them changing the formation from one straight line to pairs while their song also switched to something more groovy, so they could show some old school house moves with their partner.

And that, that’s what really explained it all. The bright grins lightning up their faces, their passion for dance and their love for each other.

And Taehyung just... Taehyung just wanted to be a part of it all. They had it all, from the professionalism and the skills to the teamwork and obvious friendship blooming between them.  
And in the end, they really ranked first. And a man from the back of the theater really rose to his feet and screeched jumping up and down while waving his crutches. Now that was received with laughter.

One has to realize that Finals were generally a place where no one actually cared about the ranking and it was all good sportsmanship. Nobody, except for Taehyung’s crew, that would probably go into history as the passive aggressive group.

Beyond the scene laughed with their whole chest and then they send flying kisses “to Jiminie, our best dancer and emotional crutch” as their thank you speech.

-

Now, remembering the casting was another experience. The wooden floor had squeaked beneath the feet of something around one hundred dancers as they filled into the room. Next to him was this tiny boy, seventeen at best, his form kind of curled in on himself every time a girl walked by. His eyes closing shortly, as he bit his lips.  
Hu. Ok.

“Hello and thank you all for coming,” a tall man arose to his feet to speak to the crowd.  
“Today we want to select members for our crew. If you read the flyer carefully, you already know the procedure but I’d like to repeat it anyways.” 

He waved for another man to come closer. The boy was about half a head smaller than he himself but stood with such confidence, it was admirable. His spine straight, shoulders back and chin high but not so high that it looked arrogant, neither did it look like he needed to tilt it up to look the taller men in the eyes.

“We’re going to let two songs play for each of you to do some individual warm up. Then one song only for stretching. If you don’t stretch you’re automatically out. We can’t have idiots that’ll hurt themselves in the crew.”  
There was an echoed “ay” throughout the room, most probably from crew members who came to watch the applying dancers.

“Afterwards we’ll start with a choreography. It’ll be a mix of house, brought to you by our dear Hoseok,” he stepped closer into the picture now, a flash of red appearing in Taehyung’s memory. He looked more natural without it, not all harsh edges now, as brown locks curled on his forehead.

“A mix of popping that Jimin here will teach and some kind of dance that we do not have a name for. You could probably locate it somewhere in the hip hop culture but, I mean, it’s just generally moves the crew trains and uses a lot. A lot of body isolation but also body connection? You’ll see.”

Someone giggled. 

As Taehyung turned his head he saw that it was maybe-seventeen-year-old kid who had erupted into a big grin, which somehow changed his whole posture. He stopped the self-soothing and actually stood a little taller, to have a better look on the front. 

A bunny, Taehyung thought. The two front teeth a little overgrown, showing of nicely in his smile, now alert, almost like a bunny straightening it’s ears.  
Yeah.  
That.

“Afterwards there will be a break for half an hour. We will clear the room so don’t break anything. As it’s a break you can do whatever really, we don’t care. Then we will put you into groups so you can show us the choreography. When all groups are done there will be another break for fifteen minutes and after that you can show us some other choreography. We don’t care wether you created it yourself, but if it’s from online, you better bet your ass that Jimin already knows it by heart and will spot every single mistake you make.”

Jimin shot the crowd a peace sign and let his chest swell up, looking like a baby wolf trying to do a howl. 

Because that was a necessary comparison that had to be made, Taehyung’s moral compass scolded.

“He’s adorable,” bunny boy whispered in aw, but blushed furiously when Taehyung turned towards him to raise a questioning eye brow.

“So now let’s have some fun!”

Taehyung really worked his ass of throughout the whole casting. He was already sweaty when the choreo began because he coped with his nervousness through doing the most serious warm up he has done in a long time.

Well, he also still remembered that they informed them in the end that they’ll have a less traditional announcement of the new members to not humiliate anyone. They send mails.

And Taehyung still remembered how he opened his and how he had skipped through the polite text to see his result.

And there it stood.

He got accepted.

-

Now, in the present, one would maybe want to know why he even remembered all of this.  
Simple. Because just now they got accepted to perform at the Finals. The very first place where he had met beyond the scene.

Taehyung’s gaze wandered along the crew. They’ve been in this together for a year now. Bunny boy, Jungkook, was accepted with him. He’s grown since that, now almost as tall as Taehyung, also building muscles on his lanky body. Taehyung remembered how the teen had openly stared at Namjoon, the crews leader, gulped and muttered “thighs”, instead of shaking his hand or introducing himself or generally doing any of the polite stuff. Just gaped like a fish at the flesh showing beneath the shorts.

Taehyung didn’t know if he was inspired by them to build muscle himself but it generally made him look a little less like a baby and somehow he really appreciated that.

Not that age really mattered in dance groups. Looks didn’t matter in any way either, really. It was all about skill and working together, not about wether someone was skinny or fat, tall or tiny. 

One short look at their dance crew proved it all. 

They were twelve people in total. 

Jimin, born in the same year as Taehyung, was tiny but muscular. He had a history of both street dancing and attending a dance academy for modern and contemporary dance which he left at the top of his class.

Namjoon was relatively tall and lanky for his 22 years of living. The leader was relaxed most of the time but still pushed them to do their best. Really, the kind of person who would never get angry but “disappointed” with you, so you’ll come apologizing yourself. That kind of person who helped you so you could help yourself.

Yoongi, who Taehyung recognized as the white haired dude, now had black hair, was probably around the same size as Jimin but older and also lanky.  
Hoseok wasn’t as tall as Namjoon but taller than Yoongi and Jimin. 

Then there was Seokjin. The oldest of the crew but so, so dorky and lovable. He was the one who kept tearing Jungkook’s walls down in some kind of careful manner. Handsome, lovable, amazing Seokjin. Jackson was somehow tiny but also build and never really looked small, even when he stood beside the tall Yugyeom who was around the same age as Jungkook. Barely 18 and signing up for his first dance competition. 

The last three members? Well, they proved the statement as well. Jaebum, Youngjae and Bambam were all of different sizes, ages and body build. Skinny Bambam, muscular Jaebum and lean Youngjae who somehow still remained chubby in the cheeks. Just like Jimin did back then, Taehyung thought.

So really, Taehyung didn’t know why he found himself appreciating the development of Jungkook’s body so much. He didn’t know why it mattered to him, why it mattered that he looked more mature or why it mattered that Jungkook didn’t shrink in whenever someone looked at him. Nowadays Jungkook’s eyes still grew when in unwanted attention and he flinched away from girls, but he didn’t shrink in on himself and he didn’t feel the need to hide what he thought.

Nowadays he was also the bully of poor Jimin, but more about that later. 

They had been practicing performance, so attitude, posture and alike, for around half an hour, when they finally took a break to discuss strategy. Namjoon came up with the idea to perform to an inspirational speech. Now, that was risky, but it also would leave a message. 

“I don’t know,” Yoongi said as he sat up in his chair.  
“We have seen something like that go wrong so many times, Joon.”

“It’s not just that,” Hoseok piped in.  
“We have so many different talents and tying oneself to an inspirational speech... you know how much that could cost us. Maybe we won’t be able to show Jimin’s ballet history, or we can’t do martial arts or popping or maybe it won’t be house.”

Taehyung found himself silently agreeing. Not, that a performance had to have all of the mentioned styles, it didn’t have to have any of it, actually. But it sure impressed the audience and judges if you could do a variety of styles instead of sticking to one. That’s why beyond the scene was so great. Because they all had different backgrounds and they all challenged each other to develop in foreign styles. 

Taehyung still remembered how Hoseok had told the story about Jimin teaching him a simple en-dehor pirouette. It was a whole disaster because Hoseok had not understood that he had to keep his body and especially his hips straight.  
He hadn’t understood that he wasn’t supposed to turn his body to where he was going to go while doing the pas de bourrée. He was just so used to it from housing. 

But in the end that didn’t matter. Because Jimin took his time and explained and showed him how to do it correctly. It wasn’t even that difficult once he understood what he was doing wrong.

“I know, but it would sure leave an impression. A message,” Namjoon’s voice piped up.  
Now, that wasn’t wrong.  
“And I believe that as a team we’ll be able to show exactly what we want to show. We’ll go through the speech and we see if we can add some background music. Also remember brotherhood at body rock in 2016? They added some jazzy, contemporary vibes.”  
Jaebum shook his head and all of them followed suit.  
“I have exactly no clue what they did, Namjoon it’s 2019, man.”

“Sorry,” Namjoon chuckled. “They had this amazing performance which we all found super funny? Dancers anonymous?”  
Hoseok’s face lightened up at that.  
“Oh my god, yes, I remember!”  
The question marks on top of the others heads were almost visible by now.

“They introduced themselves and everyone would respond. Like ‘hi my name is Francis and I struggle with’ and then whatever they’d struggle with you know? I remember one of them said formation, and another one said popping. But I don’t remember the inspirational speech?” 

“Actually, it wasn’t really an inspirational speech,” Namjoon explained.  
“The last dancer to perform introduced himself to ‘dancers anonymous’. And this dude was, you know slightly overweighted? Well his introduction went somewhat like: ‘Hi my name is Adrian and I never really got the idea of self love’ then he continued with a story and then he started apologizing for, you know, not being perfect.”

Namjoon eyed them.

“Like his looks. His body fat percentage. And we could do that. Jimin could do that. Jimin could dance ballet to someone talking about not being perfect.”  
“Don’t make it about body fat percentage,” Jimin whispered, curling in on himself, as if that would hide the way his collar bones peaked out like spikes, or the way his sweat soaked shirt was sticking to his just a little too defined abs. 

“I’m not saying we have to, I just thought it’d be really cool for each of us to show of our individual message. We’ve done so many things before. We went to underground house battles just for Hoseok. We had Jimin do a solo contemporary while we all went with some weird type of Jazz around him, we did full on body isolation because of Yugyeom. Which, I have to admit, Jimin and Hoseok are crazy good at. We even took popular moves and based a whole choreography off them because we were teenagers and we’re generation y and we were also obsessed with Instagram and the international dance world. I mean we still are. But you get the picture. It would be something new.”

That’s when Taehyung spoke up.  
“I agree,” he said. “With Namjoon, I mean. I wasn’t in this crew for long, but I watched all your performances and you always bring something new to the table. Not only new stories, like other crews do, you always strive to show a new side of you. That’s why the audience always anticipates your performance. Other crews easily fall into what they’re comfortable with, almost like a routine, and then they don’t show new things, but you do.”

A second of silence followed before some “thank you’s” echoed out of shy throats.

“So I guess, let’s just vote?”  
They nodded in agreement.  
“Who wants to do an inspirational speech or parts of an inspirational speech between music or- Really we can discuss the details then. Basically, if you want to have any kind of talking raise your hand.”  
Seven hands shot up. 

“Everyone ok with the vote?”  
The other five nodded. Only Jimin bit his lip and didn’t meet Namjoon’s gaze until the latter carefully grabbed Jimin’s wrist. His fingers wrapping around it, touching too easily on the other side.

“We have to do something about you, Jimin. You won’t have to talk about anything regarding your body on any performance ever, but we need you to be healthy. And we’re starting today, come on.”

Namjoon stood and pulled Jimin with him.  
“We’re packing things up for today and are going out for lunch.”  
The crew nodded. Seokjin handed Namjoon his things, as he stood of to the side to talk to Jimin in private, with an ease that only time heaves upon one. Nevertheless, Namjoon send a thankful smile before returning to the conversation.

“What are they talking about?”  
Jungkook was so innocent.  
Barely 18, Taehyung always needed to remind himself, he didn’t want to ruin the idolization he had going on about Jimin. Because, despite bullying him, Jungkook did nothing to hide the long careful looks fixed on Jimin, neither did he try to deny the movements he copied, the inside jokes that lived in some of them. Bullying really seemed to be the kids coping mechanism. 

On the other hands side Taehyung didn’t want to lie to him, never.  
“They’re talking about Jimin’s anorexic episodes.”  
“Oh,” he mumbled, rolling his sleeves up.  
And then, as if it meant nothing to him: “I didn’t know we were bringing our private lives into the crew.”

Taehyung flinched like Jungkook had just punched him.  
“Excuse me?”  
“I mean,” Jungkook’s eyes grew huge and suddenly he cowered again.  
“The crew is about dance and I didn’t think we were friends on another basis?”  
“Oh,” came Taehyung’s intelligent reply.

“Of course we’re friends you idiot,” he pulled Jungkook into a headlock to mess up his hair in brotherly fashion. Jungkook was strong enough to probably break Taehyung’s arm even in this position, probably actually strong enough to throw him over his shoulder or do some taekwondo shit. But he didn’t. Because they were friends.

So when Jimin approached, wiping tear streaks of his puffy cheeks Jungkook scooted up to him, all careful. 

A carefulness, Taehyung much later realized, that only ever appeared when Jungkook felt too strong, as if the situation was fragile and his bulky arms could break it.  
Taehyung could see it in his wide eyes at that moment, see that he didn’t know how to handle this situation, that he didn’t know, didn’t understand where exactly his place was here.

So Taehyung approached first.  
“Are you okay?” he asked, pulling Jimin into a hug.  
“Yeah,” he muttered. But Taehyung could feel the edges of his shoulder blades as he sobbed.  
“You’re gonna eat again?” he asked carefully. So so carefully.

“Yeah I-“ Jimin laughed. “I didn’t even mean to stop in the first place! Just, at first I wanted to get rid of my chubby cheeks, but nothing worked, so I just did this thing where I stopped eating for ten days and then ate once and then you know repeated that.”  
Taehyung nodded into the crook of his neck.

“And then I just saw how crazy good I looked like, my muscles seemed bigger and you could see my cheek bones nicely, you know?” 

Taehyung paused for a second. Because Jimin wasn’t wrong, he was sexy then, but he also didn’t want to encourage his behavior through agreeing too quickly.  
It took him another second before he nodded again. Jimin leaned back a little bit just so he could see Taehyung’s face.  
“I know what that pause meant,” he whispered. “Thank you.”  
Taehyung smiled a cautious smile before pulling Jimin back into the hug.

“So, well, I just wanted to look sexy again and I remembered how good it worked last time so I started and I haven’t stopped but the world is all spinny.”  
“Jimin you need to stop this,” he muttered and he really wanted to say more but was beat to it by, surprisingly, the usually quiet Jungkook.

“You can work out with me instead of doing this,” he claimed.  
“My work out routine is quite exhausting and it’s really good for your body and makes you look sexy too, I’m on a healthy diet to build muscles nowadays, you know?” He pushed the sleeves of his shirt up to show his biceps.

“I’d be happy to have a workout partner, actually. It’s quite boring to be stuck in the gym for one hour three days a week alone.”  
Jimin gurgled something and waved a hand to make everyone join the hug. 

A big, much needed, cuddle pile.

-

The next time Taehyung stepped into the dance room Jimin was lying on the floor. At first he thought that he had face planted, until he realized that Jimin was actually in a split, reaching so far to the front that his head and whole upper body touched the floor.

He wolf whistled and then continued to blush at least five deep shades of red violently. Could he for once control his instincts please? Anyways. His actions earned him a giggle from Jimin. 

The older seemed healthier than he did last week. His ass seemed to come back too, which—  
What the hell Taehyung how did you know that?

Deciding, that he did not want to think further about his apparently non-existent moral code, he let his backpack fall to the floor, took his shoes and socks off and started doing a warm up for, yes, toes.  
He’s been more interested in contemporary lately which meant a lot of pressure for toes and calves. 

And if they really decided to do some contemporary sort of thing in their performance, he hoped that, maybe, he could dance beside Jimin. Or more like behind him, like some sort of shadow, echo of the most beautiful art.  
Yeah, maybe stop that path of thought too because what the hell.

Throughout the next minutes the others entered the room. Jungkook went straight to Jimin to lay on top of him as a greeting? Almost in some kind of backhug… only that he basically squished Jimin between his body weight and the ground because he was still in the split position and ok, now Jungkook’s ass hid the sight of Jimin’s and maybe Taehyung really shouldn’t notice that and maybe he shouldn’t know that Jungkook’s ass was getting bigger too, but yeah. Whatever.

Jimin didn’t even grunt or moan at the stretch, one so extreme that none of the group would ever be able to endure it, he just giggled and whined: “Don’t be a brat Jungkookie.”  
To which the younger responded with: “I’m just greeting my favorite hyung.”

Jimin cooed very noisily while Jackson made gagging noises.

“Ok here it is!” Namjoon spoke, suddenly appearing in the room.  
His eyes widened as he took in Jimin and Jungkook’s position, but he didn’t comment on it as Jungkook scrambled up a second later, looking like a ripe tomato.

“I got the unedited recording of the speech, wanna listen to it?” 

My heart stopped when I was maybe nine or ten, Namjoon’s voice echoed through the speakers.  
Looking back that’s when I began to worry about what other people thought of me and started seeing myself through their eyes.

The audio was long, it had to be, as every performance at Finals was about six minutes long. It didn’t take Taehyung that long to cry, though. He was full on sobbing after just two sentences.

“Shit that’s really emotional,” Yoongi muttered, wrapping an arm around Jaebum’s shoulders who looked to be on on the verge of tears. Still, kind of everyone was doing way better than Taehyung who was sobbing disgustingly. No movie crying, real tears and snot running down his face unstoppable.

“Taehyung-ah,” Jimin crouched down to cradle his face in his hands.  
“My baby, don’t cry.” 

And Taehyung asked himself when that had started, when Jimin and him became so close that the elder would use pet names on him.  
But they had always clicked, hadn’t they?  
From the casting on, where Jimin had forgotten a step he had already taught and Taehyung was the first to remind him, so he could continue teaching the choreography, Jimin kept sticking to his side, kept helping Taehyung out, kept listening to his struggles, kept being affectionate with him, the development only ever felt natural.

“Ok, so how do you wanna do this?” Yoongi asked. The small man had detached himself from Jaebum and stood in front of the mirrors, watching the group as they gathered in formation. A never mentioned system that every dancer just understood, naturally.

“I mean we’ve listened to it for the first time just now, but I believe that in the beginning we should all already be on the stage, probably facing different directions; looking like a group of individuals rather than a team right?” Hoseok spoke. 

He was one of their main choreographers, although they all could speak if they thought a certain move should be included. Rarely happened, but, whatever.

Jimin, Hoseok and Seokjin mostly took over creating choreographies, as they were the most creative. Nowadays Yugyeom and Jungkook piped in. As the newest addition to the group, new as in from last years casting, Taehyung Yugyeom, Jungkook and Jaebum were nervous around such experienced dancers, but they tried to look over and close the gap to become a close group. A family.

Jungkook spoke up.  
“Yeah. But maybe we should, like, not all be alone? Maybe some of us should be pairs. Like Jimin and Tae could stand together but not really? Like Taehyung stands with his head down so he’s basically looking at Jimin but his body is still mostly facing the front, yeah like that Tae.” 

He took Jimin by the wrist and pulled him close to Taehyung.

“But then instead of facing him or anything you could be on the ground in a crouching position but you know sideways so you’re facing him. Yeah, maybe one knee slightly to the ground but you’re like also looking down or your face is in your hands or maybe your hands could cover your ears? I don’t know.”

Silence stood in the room, that sort of silence that occurs when you tell a story but nobody listens, or no one is interested enough to give a reaction. That silence that strikes when people don’t pay attention, or when you get lost between other sentences so in the end you aren’t heard at all. 

Hoseok’s agreement broke that silence, like a welcome breeze on a hot summer day, messing up Jungkook’s hair in its progress.  
“No, that’s a great idea, Jungkookie.” 

And so creating the choreography continued.

Taehyung watched as Jungkook came more out of his shell, giving little remarks every now and then. And well, he couldn’t stop himself from smiling.

-

The next time they walked into the practice room Seokjin was already present, sitting beside the speakers, cursing under his breath.

“What’s up, hyung?” Yugyeom asked after giving him the typical bro handshake. Seokjin pinched the bridge of his nose and simultaneously shook his head in a mix of annoyance and frustration.

“I’ve added a new part to the speech, something that would suit me, but somehow my creativity just vanished into thin air.” 

He made some vague gesture with his hand. 

“So now I don’t know how to move to it. It’s really annoying because I want this to be my story. Remember? Everyone has their individual message. This one is mine and I wanna do the choreo but somehow I just, yeah, can’t.”

Yugyeom hummed in the back of his throat. He understood, but was clearly helpless in said situation.

“How about you turn it on and I do some freestyle and you don’t have to take anything from it but maybe it’ll inspire you,” Taehyung smiled.  
He wasn’t very good at freestyling, but it was a natural trait of the Kim family to offer help without considering the costs first. It didn’t matter wether he’d make a fool of himself in the progress.

Seokjin took a second before agreeing. 

So they took their first listen to it.

Youth has no age. It just stays there, beautifully. And it’s everyone who is chasing their dreams. 

Taehyung tried some spins, then decided that he wanted to have some floor-work. And that’s when Seokjin’s creativity sparked again. He didn’t even have to say anything, Taehyung could clearly see it in the way his eyebrows shot up into his hair line and he excitedly flung his arms.

“Shit, I wanna do that!”

He watched as Seokjin got on his knees.  
“You’re really inspiring, Tae. Like wow, I didn’t think this would work but now I really have some first ideas.”

He positioned himself so he could look into the mirror.

“For the beginning I’d probably break to the front like this, then I’d go ‘has no age’,” he dragged the palm of his right hand over the floor in a circle just for it to run up his leg to his chest.

“Maybe set a pop there,” Yugyeom commented.  
“Wait does that work with the music?”  
“Should. It’s the first sentence and there’s a pause, so I could always add pops.”

Taehyung walked off as Seokjin kept creating choreography. Because he was right. This was his individual message and they shouldn’t have too much of an influence on it. 

Taehyung hadn’t thought, had not wanted to think about his message, yet. It was clear to everyone which part he would take out of the speech, an agreement never talked about.

Still, loosing his identity throughout his childhood instead of creating it was something he was quite ashamed off, something he did not want to think about. Everyone talked about being themselves and Taehyung just couldn’t know if he really, truly was himself now, after all the time that he had spend trying to jam himself into the molds that others had created.

That’s why he quietly stood in front of the mirror, just watching his own face, feeling totally detached from his body as he repeated his lines in his head. His gaze wandered and caught Hoseok and Yoongi.

They were practicing one particular step over and over again and Jimin joined them. Taehyung knew of the voice in Jimin’s head, telling him that he was nowhere near perfect. He had often seen the older break down just to get up and move again, careful smile placed on his lips. 

After another three minutes of such individual practices Namjoon spoke up.  
“I count this as warm up for today,” he said.  
“Now, lets go through the choreography, from the top.” 

What Taehyung loved so much about dancing was, that he didn’t really need to speak. People had always pointed out his odd (formal? Intelligent?) speaking pattern. While dancing, that didn’t matter because nobody talked.

Beyond the scene happened to surprise him yet again. Every time they did not go full out they talked. But, for a first in his life, talking was fun.

Yoongi giggled like crazy when Taehyung recited the words of the speech in a baby voice, to get rid of their heaviness. He did it without thinking too! Being stuck with the weighty words for hours had a depressive vibe to it and he didn’t want anyone to suffer, so again, the trait of the Kim family struck. He made good natured jokes. And those jokes? They actually weren’t even started by him.

Jungkook was the first to pull a face when they started the speech over again. Not one of dislike, rather a grimace that’d make the others laugh if they caught his face in the mirror. And it wasn’t like his dancing suffered from it. He kept doing the moves with precision, just added double chins, scrunching his bunny nose and crossing his eyes to the mix. That combination of grimace but perfect movement was what somehow made it even funnier.

Taehyung lived in the way that Jimin almost fell over laughing, clapping Jungkook on the back who flinched ever so slightly. And nobody reacted in a negative way when Taehyung joined in on the fun.

“Let’s do it one more time, but everybody act drunk now.”  
All heads turned to Youngjae.  
“What?” he giggled.  
“It’s a good exercise. Getting to know the difference between the tension you need to be precise with your movements and the relaxed state. The flowiness. You all know that.”  
“We do,” Jimin replied. “Was just surprising that you actually said something,” Yoongi and Namjoon erupted into agreeing twin-grins.

“Shut up,” BamBam laughed.  
“Just because we aren’t acting like we can’t seem to shut up, like some candidates, doesn’t mean we aren’t vocal.”

Jungkook snorted and Youngjae obviously felt the need to comment on that.  
“That’s pretty high coming from ‘I don’t actually speak I just make noises that suit the situation because I don’t know what to say but I want people to know that I’m here and be included in conversations’-Jungkook.”

Good natured laughs filled the room while Jungkook gaped like a fish. He had never been called out like that. 

Taehyung kind of loved the little confused huff he made, before stomping to his spot and waiting for the others to return to position, so they could start dancing again. 

If Taehyung would have not turned his head to playfully hit Youngjae on the back of his head he would’ve seen Jimin teasingly knocking his fist into Jungkook’s shoulder before pressing the top of his head to his chest. He would not have missed the blush that spread on Jungkook’s cheeks and he would not have missed the way he had stuttered out “you are so clingy.”

What he did not miss was when Jungkook shoved Jimin away from him and the older boy knocked backwards into the wall.  
Ow.

Everyone froze for a second as Jimin just chuckled. It wasn’t funny, though. The tension was dense, making breathing almost as difficult as it became when someone sprayed deodorant in your mouth. Jungkook gulped. Then, an unsure grin split his lips. To his luck Jimin had always been a forgiving nature. He hugged the younger close again, before squeezing a kiss to the crown of his head.

“Let’s get back to practicing,” he smiled. And somehow the tension just vanished.

-

“I swear to god,” Jaebum grunted as Taehyung sprung to his feet yet again.  
“You’re almost as bad as Jimin,” he sighed, but watched fondly as the two danced to some new kpop girl group song. Jaebum wasn’t really into girl groups, he had no clue what this song was but the line “let’s dance the night away” kept repeating in his head even after Taehyung and Jimin finished making fools of themselves.

“We’re in a public restaurant for fucks sake,” he grumbled.  
“Don’t be so grumpy, hyung,” Jungkook replied, chuckling at his red ears and poking him into the side.  
“Yeah, don’t be so grumpy,” Taehyung agreed. 

“Plus this is barely a restaurant,” Seokjin added. “It’s Panda Express after all.”

Jaebum wasn’t agreeing with them, at least his looks were speaking against them when his face dropped after being overvoted.

There wasn’t even a second of silence, nor a second for Jaebum to sulk, because Yugyeom had decided to sit down on his lap and started singing an unrecognizable mantra.

“I swear to god, you’ve been to Germany once. Stop that whole hope Reiter shit.”  
“It goes ‘Hoppe Hoppe Reiter’ and also it isn’t my fault that you don’t know how to have fun and can’t appreciate my intellectual ass for even picking that up while I was there on vacation.”

Jaebum looked taken aback. Sure, Yugyeom talked sometimes, but he was still the kid that tried to stay on all his hyungs’ good side. Never once did he insult him or any of them in a friendly kind of banter.

“Whaaaaaat,” Jackson screeched excitedly.  
“Yugyeom is apparently overcoming his daddy issues, hm,” Jimin grinned which was met with several people choking.  
“I swear every time savage Jimin makes an appearance I’m not ready,” Taehyung muttered, as Jaebum finally caught his breath. Jimin just quirked an eyebrow at him.

“I mean, it’s not that it’s rare,” he tried to explain. “It’s just that, looking at you, you know you’re so cute and whatever, and then, just-“

A smirk spread across Jimin’s lips.  
“That’s so very superficial of you, Taehyung.”

And oh, that’s not what he wanted.  
“No, I mean, you just are so kind always as well? But suddenly you talk shit and make snake ass comments and it’s such a duality. I’m just shook like, just now when we came here you asked the old lady what she would tell you to pick, like what’s the best meal, and she responded and you just decided to turn to us with a laugh and tell us in Korean that she picked an expensive one, before speaking English, like you never dragged her ass, I’m just-“

Jimin clapped his shoulder in a friendly manner.  
“I get it Tae, I got it from the beginning, I was just teasing, no need to ramble.”  
Taehyung gulped. Why did he feel like this? Not exactly intimidated just, somehow, really at ease.

“I swear to god Taehyung looks so scared right now, I’ve never seen him like this,” Jackson giggled. But even that didn’t snap Taehyung out of it. Jimin smirked and when he sat down on his thigh, legs widely spread, Taehyung didn’t dare to move.  
Jimin didn’t seem to mind, he looked like he was really comfortable and stayed in Taehyung’s lap for the longest time, even when their shared favorite song came on which they’ve done a choreography for.

Somewhere along the way Jungkook met Taehyung’s gaze. That finally made his mouth snap shut. He expected the younger to show some signs of jealousy, maybe even some sort of anger, but instead he was met with fond eyes, a galaxy twinkling away as a bunny smile graced his face.

Hu?  
Oh.

-

“So what do you think, should we—”  
Jungkook didn’t catch the complete conversation as he was late to dance practice. He stumbled into the room, hair a mess and clothes inside out.  
“I had to work the night shift I’m so so—“  
Only then he seemed to notice his surroundings, the weight of the eyes upon him which cut his explanation way short.

“Sorry?” Jungkook asked, trying to smooth down his hair in a self conscious fashion, but the stubborn locks just stood back up.

“You worked the night shift and still decided to join dance practice?” Jimin asked.  
“Yeah.” He was met with the same looks as before and shrunk in on himself.  
“Is that a problem?” 

“How many hours of sleep did you get exactly?” Taehyung’s honey voice asked, not answering his question, instead just lazing with this weird tone that Jungkook couldn’t categorize.  
“Uhm, so I was home at nine and probably fell asleep thirty minutes later and,” he broke of to pull his phone out of his pocket to have a watch, “it’s 12:30 right now which means I’m half an hour late and it takes me exactly half an hour to come here but I still needed to put clothes on and brush my teeth and break— oh I forgot breakfast actually.”  
He scratched his neck.  
“So maybe almost three hours? No wait that doesn’t make sense. Two? Two and half an hour? I—“

“For fucks sake Jungkook,” Jimin seethed. 

And Jungkook just, he just kind of crumbled. Completely, fully. Raised his arms above his head as he fell to his knees. 

“I’m sorry,” he spoke. His voice shaken with fear, no sobbing or tears, just fear. He was holding the tears back with the strength only a voice could bear after speaking strongly, when all they wanted was to beg and cry.  
“I didn’t mean to fuck up, please.”

The others just kind of watched in shock. They couldn’t understand why Jungkook was so worked up.

“Jungkook,” Jimin said again.  
“Jungkook are— no obviously you are not okay. Can you tell us what’s wrong?”  
Jungkook didn’t take down his hands but he opened his eyes to look at them.  
“Nothing, just, don’t hit me, please?”  
“I—“ Jimin stood frozen, Taehyung noticed all the signs of the loss of words, so he stepped in. Or more like, tried to.

“Why would you think that any of us would ever hit you, JK?” Seokjin muttered, before he could, crouching down to be on a level with him. He did not dare moving towards him though.

“I mean,” Jungkook’s eyes skipped between them nervously.  
“You were mad. I don’t know why but, ugh sorry? Yes, you were mad, and mad means punishment, and just, I don’t know, I’m not anyone to make request as I’m, uhm, late and I’m the one who made a mistake and I tore the team down, probably? But just, please just keep it at words. I can’t dance with bruises, okay?”

“Jungkook, baby,” and it was that, that word, that made Jungkook flinch harder than anything they’ve said before. And really, that kind of explained it all.  
Jimin had never said it before, had sure felt that way for the younger but never voiced it. He couldn’t know.

“Jungkookie,” he tried again. “Who made you think that that is how anger is dealt with?” 

Jungkook’s eyes were so big, they took Taehyung back to the scrawny seventeen year old he had met a year ago. Back to the boy he couldn’t love. Jungkook didn’t reply, he didn’t need to either, his eyes said it all. One of the perks of having big doe eyes was that Jimin could for sure read your soul like a recipe for rice cakes.

“Honey, that isn’t the way.”  
Now that Jimin had said it once, had offered his feelings just for reassurance, just so Jungkook could feel safe, pet names started rolling of his tongue. Like water flowing through a dam bursted.

It was somewhat testing the way they felt in his mouth but at the same time it was testing how they felt to Jungkook, his ears and skin.

Honey didn’t seem to have such an impact on Jungkook. He didn’t flinch, instead he finally let his arms fall to the ground, muscles relaxing while his eyes moved to catch Jimin’s sad ones.  
“Really?”  
“Really, really,” Jimin replied.

“Oh wow this is embarrassing,” he said as he scrambled to stand up.  
“I didn’t mean to make a scene or anything, I just-“

He stopped and started stubbing his toe against Jin’s, when the older finally stood up, and then proceeded to create distance by shifting his weight back.

“I just thought that was how people our age dealt with anger? I mean my parents never did it but I had this girlfriend, she used to talk down to me when I did something wrong which, relatable, right?” 

Taehyung’s mind was starting to unpack the red flags.

“Because when you love someone, or I guess when you care about someone you do that, that’s what she told me, anyways.”

Taehyung’s mind went of in fire alarms, red and shrill. 

“And when I did something really shitty she’d just punch me and I mean my parents never did that when I was a brat, so I just guessed it was a thing of the new generation, or maybe a thing in relationships?”

Taehyung’s mind was doing a red flag parade by now. 

It wasn’t that Jungkook was stupid, Taehyung didn’t think that for a second, it was that he didn’t know an other treatment, so he couldn’t really know.  
Plus, he probably was really young when it happened, after all Jungkook was still really young with his 18 years, probably impressionable.

Taehyung couldn’t stop the hot anger beating under his skin, imagining a young Jungkook, galaxy eyes ready to look at someone, hair short not quite framing his face when smiling, ready to experience romantic love; and that girl, probably sweet in the beginning, opening her arms, making Jungkook stumble right into an abusive relationship.  
And knowing abusive relationships...

“I mean it’s understandable. She told me that’s how her parents treat her too, so I think it was just normal to her.”

“Don’t try to justify her,” Namjoon cut in.  
“Look, seeing that you’re still so affected by this, you should really go into therapy. Talk it out and all that.”

“You think that is necessary?” The question was directed at Namjoon but his eyes flickered over to Taehyung and (if he wasn’t mistaken) also Jimin. Taehyung didn’t know what he was searching for, but he was ready to give it all. So he carefully started of with a nod.

“Yes,” Namjoon said.  
“Also, we are not mad at you, we’re amazed by your passion and ambition.”  
Jungkook craned his neck and tilted his head, in the ‘I don’t get it’ fashion of his.  
“As in: you barely slept and still decided to come to practice. We would’ve totally understood if you would’ve cancelled,” Namjoon explained, already used to the look.

“Oh.”  
Jungkook slumped and found himself in Taehyung’s arms. He didn’t tear away, didn’t even flinch, instead he melted a little bit and fit himself in the hug. Taehyung watched in aw as Jungkook let his head fall back against his shoulder. 

“You ok there, buddy?” he mumbled into the ear that was barely centimeters away from his lips.  
“Yeah. No. I don’t know.”  
“Look, how about you watch the routine from the side for now,” Yugyeom advised. “You remember a lot from just watching and you can also be included in discussons because you’re right here.”  
“Sounds fine to me,” Taehyung mumbled while Jungkook stretched and yawned right in his embrace, clearly not in the condition to dance. 

Taehyung maneuvered the sleepy boy onto the side, waddling with his arms slung under Jungkook’s armpits while the younger reached out and clung to Jimin.

They smiled at each other over Jungkook’s head with something unsaid. It didn’t need to be said, as this just felt right, right in the way they fitted and worked together.

“So, as I was saying before,” Jackson started the discussion again.  
“We shouldn’t only do deep shit. That’s not the vibe of beyond the scene.”

Yoongi shrugged.  
“It hasn’t been till now, but that doesn’t mean we can’t make it our vibe. Because, as Taehyung said before, our group is so interesting because we are always changing and bringing new things to the scene.”

Jackson send him a glare, one one sends when another person steals some fries without asking first. Not quite hateful, but sour nevertheless. 

“I know I said that,” Taehyung piped in, “but I wasn’t saying that you cannot rely on things you’ve already done either.”  
It took a moment for everyone to consider this, until Taehyung spoke again.  
“I for one would like to include something fun too. You know, complete meme part, full on dorks doing Naruto run on stage and dancing to Pokémon theme songs.”

Bambam broke out laughing.

“Hell yes, I want to Naruto run!” 

“And I want to dab,” Jackson grinned mischievously. 

“That’s all great,” Jaebum finally cut in.  
“We should still aim to have a red line we can follow through the choreography, though.”

“Shit I know!” Jungkook suddenly said, scaring everyone including Jimin who was still by his side.  
“Sorry,” he said but spoke up again anyways.

“We’re going on and on about being yourself, not losing yourself or finding yourself if you’ve lost yourself. Wow, was that a sentence? I don’t know. Anyways, then in the end we could do something happy like: look we’re all ourselves and we’re not ashamed. Jackson can dab and we can Naruto run to some happy end music that’ll conclude it all!”

“Jungkookie is a genius, confirmed,” Jimin grinned. His small fingers came to tickle him under his chin, naturally he tried to fight them off, giggling, but didn’t stand a chance as Taehyung grabbed him from behind and held him so Jimin had free access.

“Stop torturing, JK!”  
Seokjin came stomping over to them, hands balled in fists beside him. It was funny how they all cowered in front of him, until they saw a crack in his facade, a hint of a smile before he chuckled:  
“Without me.”

Jungkook almost died between the tickles and playful slaps. He most probably only survived because Namjoon came swooping in, told them that was enough ‘rough housing’ and that they should continue with the choreography. So they did. 

-

Jin’s birthday came rolling in, and, against Taehyung’s expectations, he threw a party that included the whole crew.

Not, that Jin wasn’t giving by nature, Taehyung just thought they weren’t close enough to be invited. That he wasn’t good enough of a friend. But, then again, that might just have been the insecurities talking.

Taehyung was fashionably late, as one is to be considered cool. He even bought a little gift from the money he could muster up, the funniest and tiniest cooking book he had ever encountered. It was hilarious and still had good recipes. He knocked on the door, just for it to be swung open immediately.  
With it came a boy leaning half out of the entry, eyes curious but mouth grim.

“Who are you?” he demanded over the background music, almost making Taehyung stand up straight in military style, introduction included.  
Luckily, he controlled that urge.  
“I’m Taehyung,” he answered.  
“From Beyond the Scene?”

Something like recognition shot across in the man’s eyes as he broke into a grin.

“Oh!” he exclaimed.  
“My boyfriends dance with you, how exciting! Come in.”

He stood to the side gesturing invitingly while Taehyung just tried, dumbfounded, to figure out wether he had heard that correctly. 

The inside wasn’t any less of a shock, than the latter’s words. Jin’s apartment looked as any of the average-income-apartments looked, but, there was a meal on a table that could’ve been for kings and queens.  
The apartment reeked of alcohol, to no one’s surprise really, and the middle of the living room, which they were apparently standing in, was cleared out to create a little bit of a dancing space. 

Taehyung was about to go and greet Jin, when he realized that the birthday boy was deeply making out with Namjoon on the dance floor. Oh.  
That was less surprising than he would’ve expected.

“Taehyung!” he heard a hyper voice call. He turned away from the scene.  
It was Jungkook, sitting comfortably on a couch in shorts and a half unbuttoned dress shirt.  
“Come here, I’m all lonely,” he pouted as Taehyung approached.  
“Oh wow,” Yugyeom sighed next to him.  
“I guess my company wasn’t good enough, hu?”

He shook his head before standing up.  
“You’re one hell of a friend.”  
But there was no bite in his voice. 

“He’s right, you are one hell of a friend,” Taehyung giggled. He then sat down next to him and took his glasses off to carefully dab around his eyes. 

“Are you wearing eyeshadow?” Jungkook asked, starring at him in some form of awe.  
“Yeah,” Taehyung grinned.  
Jungkook gulped.

“That’s so gay.”  
And sadly, Taehyung didn’t know a good reply to that.  
“No, you’re gay.”  
Jungkook’s eyes widened, his cheeks adopting a rosy color as he shook his head seeming extremely distressed.  
“No, you’re gay.”

“No, you’re both a pair of homophobes that put a stereotype of sexual expression on a whole community, where most gay men don’t even know how to do eyeshadow. It’s 2019, for fucks sake, stop using gay as an insult or to stereotype, and get your head out of your ass.”

Jimin stood right in front of them, arms crossed over his chest. His muscles bulged beneath a flimsy dress shirt. It was a plain blue, and as Taehyung’s eyes trailed down to his stomach he noticed that it was safely tucked away into black slacks.  
Somehow that look was just so Jimin.

Jungkook turned to face Taehyung, putting a hand on his knee with the most serious, unreadable expression on his face. 

“I take back what I said before, I am gay. And if you aren’t then you’re just wasting your life not kissing pretty boys left and right. Like that one.” He gestured over to where Jimin was standing, now gaping like a fish at Jungkook’s new confidence.

“Oh, I certainly am gay as well,” Taehyung replied, not even looking at Jungkook, just sizing Jimin up and down again and again.

“Wow, so now you went from being homophobe men to gay men that objectify others,” Jimin muttered, although he obviously liked the attention. He stuffed his hands in his pockets so they wouldn’t see him fidgeting.

“Hey, now,” Taehyung mumbled.  
“I’m not so completely gay, more on the pan side, actually. Turns out a nice character on someone really gets me going.”

Jimin snorted.  
“There could not have been a nicer way too put it? Like ‘theres more than two genders and I like all of them’? ‘People are hot in general’?”

“Actually,” Jungkook interrupted.  
“I’m not gay either.”

Now their heads turned.

“I mean, not completely,” his ears colored red as he tried to put what he wanted to say into words. The dim light and his grown hair came in handy, they hid his ears perfectly.  
“I am bisexual!” 

He was met with utter silence. Their faces blank, no, actually, a look of amusement appeared on Jimin’s face. 

He finally sat down next to Jungkook and took a hold of his hand, while establishing eye contact. Jungkook usually couldn’t hold eye contact. Other people’s eyes just seemed to tell him to look away. He’s been training to concentrate and fight the urge and reciprocate, though, so that’s what he tried to do.

“Jungkookie,” Jimin began.  
“We know,” Taehyung finished.  
“But how come your confidence grew so much, you’ve told us?”  
“Yeah, you’re even holding eye contact for like ten seconds every other minute, it’s crazy.”  
There was not the slightest form of sarcasm in their words. It had been way to long since Jungkook had felt proud or the pride of others, it made his head turn to also look Taehyung in the eyes, it made his lips split into a grin and it made him reply.

“I’ve been going to therapy! Namjoon helped me find one! I didn’t even know people began to notice, yet.”  
“Oh, but we do!” Taehyung laughed.  
“Our Jungkookie is growing so much, what a shame,” Jimin pet his hair as if he was bidding goodbyes with a dog.

“Lmao calm down, I’m not dying. I’m still shy, just now I’m also confident. A confident, shy, bi guy, you know?”  
Happy laughter spilled over the edges of the tense moment and Jimin opened his mouth to ask if Jungkook really just said ‘lmao’ out loud.

“Yo, go bother someone else, I gotta talk to Jiminie over here,” Namjoon came waltzing into their conversation.  
They made faces at him, but got up anyways. Taehyung finally greeted Jin and drank some shit that Yugyeom had mixed, which was disgusting by the way, but maybe that was Taehyung’s general hate for alcoholic beverages talking. Exactly the reason why it was an idiotic idea to play beer pong with Jungkook next, but he did it anyways. 

They played in teams. While he and Jungkook stood on one side of the small table, the other team consisted out of the scary dude that had opened the door and Youngjae, who was being quite handsy, sliding his fingers into the others hand and leaning into his side every now and then.

Youngjae nailed the first throw, making Taehyung groan but when he almost had the tip of the cup at his lips Jungkook noticed something.  
“There’s a paper under it! This is truth or dare beer pong!”  
While Taehyung let out an even noisier groan, this time in union with the other still nameless guy, at least Youngjae seemed excited.

“Ok so,” he grabbed the paper in defeat, before a spark lightened across his face.  
“Dance with your Beer Pong Partner in a hot way, for a hot minute, less clothes then usually are encouraged.”  
Taehyung snorted and was about to chug the beer, when he noticed Jungkook already pulling his shirt over his head. He then stood there, solid abs on display, long hair disheveled, looking between Taehyung and the others.

“What?”  
He asked in confusion.  
“You’re not gonna do it? Come on, it’s one of the easier ones and I don’t want you drunk in the beginning, you can’t throw as it is.”

“Oh, can’t I?”  
Taehyung was boiling by now, he didn’t even think as his hands grabbed Jungkook by his belt loops (what shorts even possesses belt loops) and pulled his hips flush against his own, just wanting to somehow make that challenging grin disappear of his face. 

“Time, go!”  
Someone yelled but they both were already going at it.  
Taehyung’s hands were harshly grabbing Jungkook’s hips and moving them with his own in a slow sway, Jungkook had other ideas. He turned despite Taehyung’s iron grip, made him open his hands before backing up against him and full on grinding his ass down on Taehyung’s groin.

“And here we are again, having to establish who is the ‘alpha’. I swear, for a pan and a bi guy you two sure are heteronormative at times.”  
“We don’t need to establish who the alpha is,” Taehyung said, not being quite sure if that was actually the case.  
“Yeah.” At least Jungkook seemed to support him, or maybe he was faking it for the sake of proving Jimin wrong.  
“That’s clearly Taehyung, we’re just having a nice dance, wanna join?”

Taehyung choked on his own saliva, stumbling back.  
“Time’s up! Congratulations you’re the dom in this sexual relationship.”  
“There is no sexual relationship,” Jungkook protested, flushing. This time the dim light did nothing to hide his red face.  
Jimin pulled an eyebrow up at the youngest.  
“There’s no relationship,” he corrected himself, coloring even worse.  
“Not yet, anyways,” he added then, just low enough for the music to top, if Taehyung would not have been directly by his side to help him put his shirt back on. His heart skipped a little beat.

He was so out of it, he missed his next throw, but so did Youngjae.  
“Now, young padawan, look and learn.”  
Jungkook threw the ball with ease, landing perfectly in the triangle of cups.  
“It just says: ‘Your weirdest idea ever’,” Youngjae said.

“Well, I pride myself in having a weirdness chart on his ideas. There’s three categories. ‘A toddler would have this idea’, ‘a drunk adult would have this idea’ and the so called ‘idiot’ category which is my favorite. Just this morning he asked why we use balls to play, well, ball sports, when in cases like hand ball you could just and I quote ‘use a mango’,” the brunette grinned when Youngjae colored the shade of said mango.  
“But, theres no way I could say what his weirdest idea ever was.”  
“Neither can I so let’s continue!” The enthusiasm was clearly to get away from his embarrassment but Taehyung let it go.

They landed their throw, Jimin making weird cooing noises as they raised their cup.  
“Show us your favorite sex position with your partner (but please don’t strip),” he read out. Jungkook still had the challenging look in his eyes, but Taehyung couldn’t bring himself to join the challenge.

“Well,” he mumbled. “If I must.”  
Then he was behind Jungkook, gently taking his hips before pressing them into the table with the force of his own hips.  
“If it’s all about the pleasure, I really like this. Plus,” his eyes caught the long strands of hair curling in Jungkook’s neck.  
His hand moved on its own, piano fingers disappearing between the thick curtain, before harshly fisting and pulling. His fair skin such a pleasant contrast to the dark strands twisting around and between them like wild grown vines.  
“Having a nice grip always helps, right, Kookie?”

The other boy nodded despite the strong grip.  
“Jungkookie is too pure for this game,” Jimin interrupted.  
“Come here Gukkie.”  
Jimin patted his lap invitingly.  
“Let Taehyung get drunk alone.”  
“Jimin!” The latter protested.  
“I need a partner for this game! You can’t just take him away.”

Jimin took a second to consider this, playfully leaning back with his hands on a couch. Had it always stood there? Sometimes Taehyung felt like the world just moved for pretty peoples to make their power moves look more confident.

“How about I take you both away.”  
Both Taehyung and Jungkook gaped at him. They knew, kind of, but they’ve never talked about it, they just let it grow, naturally and in silence.  
“You know, to another kind of partner game.”

The grin that spread on his lips as Youngjae and his partner made gagging noises. Taehyung shot them a death look.

The latter turned, not even waiting for them. Then again it wasn’t necessary either, because Jungkook and Taehyung were scrambling after him so hastily they tripped over Namjoon’s spread legs and almost fell on their noses. But even that couldn’t get a reaction out of them. They got up and moved fast, only joining Jimin by Seokjin’s apartment door.

“Jimin, where are you going off to so fast?”  
A man was blocking their, or more accurately, Jimin’s way.  
“I thought we could enjoy some fun time together, you know, like last year.”  
The man made a move as to pull Jimin close, but the smaller man easily dodged him. 

Something about this interaction set Taehyung off. Not the fact that someone flirted with Jimin, after all he didn’t owe them anything because in the end they weren’t a thing yet, right? Sure, he was jealous and a look at Jungkook proved that the other was caught up in the same state of mind. His tongue was aggressively stubbing against the inside of his cheek while his nose flared with every intake of air. 

But that wasn’t what left him so uncomfortable, the whole interaction just had a weird vibe. It felt dangerous.

“I already told you, that was a one night stand, Mark,” Jimin gritted out between clenched teeth.  
“Plus, you have a boyfriend now, Jackson is standing right over there.”  
He nodded his head in the general direction of the room.  
“Oh, but we don’t see it that way.”  
“But we do,” Jungkook intervened.  
He probably would’ve said more, but Jimin stepped between him and Mark.

“Don’t you dare try to fight for me like I’m some helpless cliche romantic drama chick. I’m a black belt taekwondo and have eight years of Japanese fencing in repertoire. I can fight my fights on my own.”

Jimin’s jaw was set as he turned back to the taller male, Jungkook left behind, again, gaping with the biggest heart eyes ever registered in human history. 

“Still, Jungkook is right. I’m not into open relationships. And also, I’m not into you, Mark. So please move out of the way because I’m headed for a very fun night which you are not invited to.”

He flashed the taller male a dazzling smile as he stepped to the side grumbling.

“That felt dangerous,” Taehyung admitted his thoughts.  
“What? Mark?”  
Jimin shot him an incredulous look, before bursting into giggles.  
“No, never. He just got clingy after I fucked him. Really, he’s just after me for my dick game.”

Taehyung stared at him unbelievingly, then he was pushed into Jimin by something that almost felt like a natural pull, when in reality it was Jungkook. 

But Taehyung couldn’t keep his hands of Jimin, it was like a damm broke and now all the water was flowing out freely, spilling over the borders and finding peace in touch.

“Boys,” Jimin said as Jungkook pressed him to the wall, or more into Taehyung, who then got pressed into the wall. The former kept nuzzling his cheek, while the latter spread his hands over Jimin’s stomach, groaning in satisfaction at the soft fat finally growing there.  
“Boys,” Jimin spoke again.  
“You have to get off of me so we can move.”  
“Don’t wanna,” Taehyung responded, almost, actually completely sounding like a child that had to give up his favorite toy. 

“Come on, honey bear,” Jimin whispered, taking Taehyung’s hands and untangling them from himself. The brunette stood back, almost in a trance.  
“You too, bub.”  
With that Jimin pulled Jungkook’s head from his neck, the short fingers tangling in his long hair, just like Taehyung’s long ones had before. Taehyung started as Jimin took a second to smile at Jugkook’s blissed out face. When Jimin turned Taehyung didn’t really register what he said, just watched as Jimin’s ginger moved in front of him and booped his nose. 

“Do you know you’ve got two adorable moles right there?” Jimin whispered, but to no avail. Taehyung’s mouth and throat were dry so the only response was a raspy breath escaping his lips.

Jimin, being the only coherent one, pushed the door open and led them out into the night, thinking nobody noticed their exit, when actually most of beyond the scene had been watching. 

“You owe me twenty,” Namjoon said, holding his hand open to his boyfriend. But the other turned, shaking his head. A suggestive smile gracing his lips.  
“Not yet.”

“Jungkook, come here,” Taehyung heard himself say, before really realizing why. Then his brain understood what his unconsciousness had said many times.  
“You’re shivering, take my jacket,” he said.  
His wide jacket fell soft over Jungkook’s shoulders.  
“Oh,” Jungkook responded, flushed.  
“Actually, it’s not cuz I’m cold,” he mumbled although he pulled the warm fabric tighter around himself.  
“I’m just so excited. Aren’t you?”

“No, I’m totally unaffected being invited to join ‘fun activities’ by a literal angel,” he deadpanned.  
“You know I can hear you, right? I’m walking right beside you two.”  
“Yeah I know, but do you know?”  
Jimin shot him a confused look.  
“Taehyung I literally just said—“  
“No, I meant: do you know that you’re an angel? Because I’m not sure you do.”

He had the decency to let shock grace his face. Taehyung had guessed that he wasn’t used to getting compliments, or maybe his disorder enabled him to mishear them all, but he got a little giddy knowing that this one couldn’t be twisted, not even on bad days.

“So pretty,” Taehyung continued.  
“And so kind,” Jungkook added.  
“And so fun? Like what the hell even,” Taehyung said.  
“And also so good at lighting up the mood,” Jungkook said.

“Can you two stop?” Jimin interrupted.

They did, twin grins adoring their faces, not similar in looks but energy, as they walked further into the night, the stench of alcohol slowly ebbing away. 

Maybe it wasn’t their own smell, maybe the party just hung in their clothes, at least Taehyung couldn’t remember that they drank that much. 

He was wrong, they certainly drank that much.

They stopped at a super market, buying some water because Jimin, their kind angel, didn’t want them to get dehydrated from all the alcohol. Taehyung downed it without complaining, also thinking about the oncoming hangover they were going to have.

Jungkook almost threw up as he gulped the water down to hastily, snot coming out of his nose and tears welling in his eyes. Taehyung couldn’t help but laugh at him, while Jimin gently pat his back.  
“Let’s see how you like getting water down the wrong place,” Jungkook coughed before taking a hold of Taehyung’s bottle (which was still connected to his lips) and squeezing so much it blew all over his face. 

For a second Taehyung looked shocked, but then their laughter filled the quiet of the night as he chased the other with his water bottle until the younger hid behind Jimin.  
“Taehyung let’s not—“  
But Jimin’s words were drowned in water dripping down his clothes.  
“Oh, you aren’t ready for this war!”  
He screamed opening his own bottle and running after him. Jungkook fell to his knees, laughing at them, when a dripping Taehyung towered above him, half a bottle of water still in hand.

“No,” Jungkook gasped between giggles.  
“Please—“  
Within a millisecond Taehyung grabbed Jungkook by the back of his own jacket, pulled the neck away and pushed the water bottle with the opening right down there.

Jungkook screeched as the cold water soaked his clothes. Now the cold had easy access to his back, even with Taehyung’s jacket flung over his shoulders.

“Ok, enough revenge,” Taehyung laughed, pulled the bottle out and dawned the last few drops of water.  
“Now, Jimin?”

“Sure, get me as the solution for your confrontation,” the eldest said, while toweling his hair with the front of his shirt.  
Against his words he started walking towards them and led them the last street down to his apartment.

Jungkook was still gravitating towards Jimin, touching the elders lower back and arms every now and then. Taehyung couldn’t make fun of him, as he felt his own finger tips aching. And as Jimin turned the key in the lock to his apartment he finally was attached to his back again, arms slung around his belly.

But the second they crossed the door steps the vibe changed. Taehyung stood back as they walked into the living room, and Jungkook fiddled with his own fingers as if he didn’t know where to put them. 

Silence wrapped them up in a thick, scratchy fabric. Taehyung felt so out of place, like he did when he was growing up. Where to put his hands, what to say, how to act, where to fit? 

“Oh my god can you two stop standing there like weird rooted trees.”  
They were taken aback from his laughter, failing to react.  
“Oh please,” Taehyung finally responded.  
“I’m a wise oak tree,” he said, trying to mimic Jake Peralta, failing miserably, but being hilarious nether the less.

“Seriously, just sit down wherever, I’m gonna get some fresh clothes.”  
They did, finding comfortable spots on the water green couch and only staying silent for a few seconds. They could endure silence and they did have comfortable silence between them but currently it was just not the time for any of such.

“You ever done this before?” Jungkook turned to ask him.  
“What?” he replied dumbfounded.  
“Well,” the younger couldn’t stand to hold eye contact now, so instead he was looking at a spot on the right of Taehyung’s head.  
“Slept with two people.”

“Oh.”  
It was Jimin standing in the doorframe, dry clothes draped over his arm.  
“Baby,” Jungkook flinched only a little bit, but Jimin sharply inhaled the air anyways.  
“I’m sorry, honey, I didn’t mean to,” he mumbled as he approached and sat down on the couch not worrying about his dripping clothes. Taehyung could’ve sworn that the couch was soaked by now.

“And I also didn’t mean to lead you two on. I thought you knew that what I said was just something I said to get you two out of there.”  
“Oh,” Taehyung and Jungkook responded in unison.  
Taehyung didn’t even look up as strong fingers linked his own, he was ready to find comfort in the squeeze and warmth of one of the boys he had so desperately wanted to share his bed, but more importantly, his heart with.

“You know, sorry for the misunderstanding,” Taehyung spoke up brightly, not being aware that both Jimin and Jungkook saw right through the big boxy smile.  
“We’ll just go, have a—“  
“Wait,” Jimin interrupted.  
“I thought—“ But he stopped himself and waved a hand.  
“No, you’re right, sorry for the misunderstanding, take the clothes, please,” he said.  
“Please, feel at home, you’re both too drunk to go home now.”  
With that he left.

There was no door slam, just a little click as the front door locked behind the small retreating figure of Jimin.  
Taehyung could’ve sworn he saw Jimin shiver a little at the cold air introducing when he opened the door.  
Boy was he wrong.

“You know, I thought he loved us?” he asked into the quiet of the room.  
“But turns out he just cares about us as friends. Cross the just. It’s nice. I love him as my friend, I appreciate him. I just kind of read into the situation, I think. Well,” he traced Jungkook’s knuckles with his thumb and then continued to pull his hand back as if he had been burned, just in such a slow way, not in a haste. Like the burn had registered but he had let his hand stay anyways, only to look at the blisters in confusion afterwards.

“Let’s go to sleep.”  
They changed into clothes in silence and laid down on the wet couch, curling up close. 

Jimin came back early in the morning. Around five am, probably. Finding them cuddling on the couch.

Jungkook’s long lashes graced his cheeks, casting tiny shadows below them. One of his arms laid across Taehyung’s torso while one of his legs placed on his abdomen. The long, curly, black locks fell to the back of his neck, only one or two strands laying on his forehead and disappearing in the space between his skin and Taehyung’s arm which he was using as a personal head rest.

“Hey.”  
A guttural voice croaked.  
Jimin stood in utter silence, his eyes widening as he met Taehyung’s eyes. He hadn’t noticed they were open until now, because one of his slim long arms was laying over his eyes. 

“Why didn’t you take a jacket?”  
“What?”  
“Why didn’t you take a jacket with you, when you went out?” Taehyung asked, slowly lifting his arm.  
“I saw you shiver.”  
“Oh,” Jimin replied, numb.  
“I didn’t, I didn’t shiver.”  
Taehyung raised his perfect eyebrows.  
“I cried.”

He looked at the ground. 

“I didn’t mean to wake you up.”  
And it wasn’t what he had meant to say, not when the sore of his heart was laying on his living room couch, not when his throat was closed up with feelings unsaid, not when he had felt the deepest urge to just lay down with them.  
But maybe that was exactly why he said what he said.

“Don’t worry,” Taehyung muttered.  
“Just let Guk sleep.”  
Jimin nodded mutely, but Jungkook opened his eyes anyways.

Something in Jimin broke as warm brown eyes caught his, when a bright smile lit up over the youngest face in the warmth and truth of his feelings, just for a split second. That peaceful second where you don’t remember.  
Jimin watched as the cold of last nights events rushed over Jungkook’s face and he forced his eyebrows together trying to figure out wether it was a dream, before he seemingly registered that it wasn’t. In the end he accepted defeat with a grim nod.

“I love you.”

His mouth closed only seconds later, embarrassment coloring his cheeks.

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

“You mean it?” 

Taehyung was set up straight, raven hair draining him like a nest.

“I... yes. It’s just... I thought... you know? But then last night happened and I realized it’s just my body, or I thought I had? But then I saw you here and I thought: Why would you stay if you didn’t like me? Why wouldn’t you use my bed? Because that’s respectful and I just thought...” he trailed off. 

“What did you think, Jimin?” Taehyung urged him. Because he needed to hear, to be sure there wasn’t a misunderstanding, again. He didn’t know so much about Jungkook, but guessing from his state of being (sitting up on his knees, leaning forwards as if he’d miss what Jimin would be saying if he wasn’t as close as possible, almost falling off the edge of the couch in the process) he thought same goes for him.

“You know...” Jimin muttered.

“Say it.”

“I think you love me.” 

His eyes shot up with his words, a mix of curiosity and confidence leading the way.

“I think you love me, both of you, and I just misunderstood the situation.“

“Yes,” Jungkook gasped.

“But why did you lead us on like that?” Taehyung questioned having always been the critical one, the one that didn’t trust that people actually were nice.

“I just didn’t want you to get into bad situations and I genuinely wanted some time alone with you. I thought it’d be fun and it was. It was thrilling. Until, well—“

“Yeah.”

“Don’t worry,” Jungkook interrupted.  
“We’ll make it thrilling again. Which, you know, easy, cuz everything with you is thrilling,” he added before running off into the kitchen under the backdrop of them cooing.

“So, what are we?” Taehyung asked, when Jungkook had left, patting the space beside him.  
“Boyfriends?” Jimin hopefully questioned.  
Taehyung paused for a second, thinking of everything unspoken of. Then he shook his head slightly.  
“I can’t, and before you run of again: not because I don’t reciprocate, more because I need time to get used to that. Natural development, like everything before. Can we do dating?”

“Hell yes we can,” Jimin agreed. He leaned in and then left a kiss on his cheek.

“But you need to define your relationship with Jungkook on your own,” Taehyung mumbled over his own blush.

“Obviously,” Jimin responded.

Because it was. Because Jungkook belonged with them, in what way was his to decide. 

“Jungkook are we boyfriends?” Jimin screamed.

The answer was a yelp, a shutter, followed by muffled cursing.

“How dare you say shit like that when I wanna cook. I dropped my fucking spatula!” Jungkook screeched, walking into the room in a haste.

“So is that a no?”  
A smile adored Jimin’s features speaking of the lingering hope of the contradiction.  
“That’s a hell ducking yes, who the hell do you think I am to deny, oh—“  
“Yeah,” Taehyung grinned.  
“You really have to be one Kim Taehyung to say no to that.”

Jungkook stood there, spatula in hand, cockin his head slowly.  
“So, does this mean it’s just me and Jimin?”  
“No,” Taehyung smiled gesturing for Jungkook to come closer.  
“I just need a little more time. But I’d love to date you until then?”  
“If that’s a question my answer is yeet.”  
“Bro.”  
“I mean it bro.”  
“Good yeet, though?”  
“The best yeet, bro.”

“I swear to god you two sound so heteronormative sometimes, I have no clue why I fell for you,” Jimin sighed. Taehyung watched as he blinked up at him out of tired eyes.  
“Actually, I don’t think you did,” he whispered.  
Jimin immediately sat up straight, shock tearing apart the peaceful moment.  
“Wasn’t I clear? I—“  
“No, no, no,” Taehyung replied, laughing. His hands busy as they tried to pet him back into relaxation.

“I just meant: I don’t think you fell for us. I think we all consciously walked into this.”  
Saying it felt right, he noticed. It made his inside warm and gooey. But he still had to add one thing.  
“And I think that’s healthy.“

“Same,” Jungkook answered.  
“With you know, ‘past relationship’, I didn’t have that. I just fell and it was overwhelming at times. With this I consciously walked into it. I gave it a chance, all myself.”  
Taehyung watched him with adoration. Jungkook was such a smart kid, but so quiet that sometimes they forgot about it.

“Is that out of therapy?” Jimin asked.  
“Yeah. Come with me to the kitchen and I’ll explain? I don’t want the eggs to burn.”

They moved fast, both Taehyung and Jimin eager to get to know more about Jungkook’s achievements. 

“So,” Jimin asked drawn out.  
“Right,” Jungkook replied while turning the stove down.  
“So my therapist told me to acknowledge my achievements, right? Cause apparently I have been putting myself down, haven’t been proud of myself. My therapist said it’s cause ‘past relationship’ always talked down my efforts. Oh, she’s also the one who told me to call her ‘past relationship’ so there’s no big name association and stuff.”  
“Oh so did mine!” Jimin said excitedly.

Jungkook regarded him with some like distress. 

“Obviously nothing about the relationships just acknowledging the little steps I make and being proud of myself.”

“That’s good and I don’t wanna discourage you, but...” Jungkook chewed his bottom lip quietly.  
“You don’t have a lot of food, Jimin,” he mumbled as he eyed the half filled fridge.  
“I know. But it’s not that I haven’t been eating! I’ve been not buying more than necessary, it makes me feel bad. I noticed when I started eating on a schedule again that it felt bad when I saw everything in front of me that I will have eaten one day. So I buy in rations.”

He pulled a drawer.  
“So look the plan was to eat bread, maybe some eggs. For breakfast, I mean. So I have that. Then I have peanut butter and crackers for like snacks or when I can’t do a whole meal and usually I go out to buy things for lunch every day. Like yesterday. I got some stuff to make a salad. It’s nothing amazing but it’s my way of managing, currently.“  
“That’s amazing though,” mumbled Taehyung. His eyes pacing over the food displayed.  
“I mean, you weren’t constantly eating unhealthily, I think I’m expressing this wrongly now, like I don’t want to say you weren’t as bad as others cuz you can’t compare pain and all that, but... I just mean you had episodes? Yeah, I can say that without feeling like it’s completely uhm the wrong term. So yeah, you had episodes and what I wanted to actually say is that you’re recovering so nicely from them but now I just rambled, yeah sorry.”

Jimin grinned at him.  
“Thank you.”

Jungkook ended up making some ramen he found somewhere in the kitchen to go with the scrambled eggs.  
They then decided to eat on the floor of Jimin’s living room because the couch was as wet as Taehyung had predicted yesterday. Something that stood in the back of their heads until now when Jimin said down just to stand up in disgust and pat his wet butt.  
“Get the blankets down to the floor, we’re officially doing a picknick,” he announced as he sat down his food on the couch table.

So they did and started eating while watching YouTube videos.

They were halfway through a TTT Let’s Play, when the person playing told his friend on discord to “suck his dick or he’ll kill him”. Nothing special when it came to TTT. Everyone and their mom had crouched down and ran into a teammates crotch. It was all stupidly childish fun.

Not for Jungkook.

“‘Past relationship’ said that too, sometimes,” he mumbled.  
Like a passing thought he just continued eating his ramen, leaving Jimin and Taehyung on high alert. The latter almost spilled his ramen all over the carpet as he grabbed the remote to stop the video.

“Jungkook,” Jimin had already begun.  
“Did she—“ he couldn’t bring himself to say it, but he knew that someone had to ask. So he gulped down the fear.  
“Did she rape you?”

“What?” Jungkook looked at him in confusion before he seemed to understand.  
“Oh, no, I’m a virgin,” he said absentmindedly, before going back to eating his food. All like it wasn’t really about him, so weirdly detached, Jimin didn’t know how to handle the situation.

Luckily he still had Taehyung.

“Why did you say that then, Guk?”  
“Oh!” Jungkook exclaimed as if he finally understood their concern.  
“Because,” he swiped his mouth with the back of his hand before wiping it of at his pant leg.  
“Past relationship used to say that if I leave her she’s gonna hurt me badly. Never actually said kill, just said hurt me badly once while holding a knife. I had my back packed and said I was gonna leave when that happened.”

They didn’t know how to respond to that. Taehyung just sat there in shock, starring at the buttons of the tv remote. Everything suddenly feeling far away as he imagined Jungkook, an even younger Jungkook faced with a knife and a threat. 

“It wasn’t like we were living together or anything either, obviously. We were like, what? Sixteen? Fifteen? I don’t know. It was just a sleepover that didn’t go that well because, well, she wanted to go further, but I didn’t want to. I think she took that as a threat, like I was thinking about breaking up with her.”

“Were you?” Jimin asked.

Jungkook looked at his nails, before rubbing them on his sleeves.

“No, but, actually, ugh.”  
Jungkook put his bowl on the couch table and let his head fall backwards on the soft wet cushion he was leaning against.  
“As I said she wanted to go further, but I didn’t want to. And I think— I mean, I talked about this with my therapist and I think I knew it was wrong. The way she was treating me was wrong. And I stayed because of fear and not because of love.”

He gulped.

“If any of you wanna hit me with the ‘you’re a man you shouldn’t fear a girl’ bomb I’m gonna leave, just saying.”

“What the fuck, we would never,” Jimin said.  
“Yeah,” Taehyung mumbled.  
“You’re just so... so incredibly strong? You’re giving another relationship a chance after all that and you recognize your feelings and do this catharsis process, I’m so fucking proud of you.”

He ended with tears in his eyes.

“Can I hug you?” he asked and when Jungkook nodded he pulled him into a bone crushing hug. When they separated Jungkook seemed to have lost a lot of fear, like he actually had assumed they’d ridicule him for fearing a woman...

Society that fucked up bitch.

“After admitting that I actually knew she treated me wrong it got way easier. It was like my therapist bombed down the part of me that wanted to hide that I was scared, the part that tried to explain why she did what she did. And when that was gone, I could actually do the catharsing.”

They nodded.  
Pride covered them like glitter, stuck to every inch of their body, even in their hair and on their hair, never leaving again.

“Now on to some lighter topics though!” Jungkook laughed.  
“I recently found this super lit performance. They used the same idea that Namjoon had for our performance.”

“An inspirational speech?” Taehyung asked.

“Yeah, just watch, it’s so pretty.”  
With that they watched the Aliens Crew perform.

“So much to ‘lighter topics’,” Jimin laughed, wiping tears from his eyes.

“Give me the remote I actually wanna do some lighter topics now.”

And so he turned on some juniors group perform.

“No way!” Jungkook screeched some time through the performance.  
“That’s Ayden!”  
“The kid that started at Matt Steffanina’s?”  
“Yeah. Yo look at that boy slay.”

They excitedly cheered on the crew (which basically meant screaming at the tv). After that they kept on switching from Let’s Plays to dance videos and back, typical lazy morning routine.

“I gotta like shower and get ready,” Taehyung yawned after who-knows-how-many-videos. 

“Gotta be at uni in like, an hour.”

Education was something they rarely talked about, really. Every now and then someone would vent, sometimes even their whole crew, but it never turned to a main topic for them.

“Can’t you skip and stay here?” Jungkook asked, hopeful eyes turned up.  
“Ah, no, it’s not a lecture. We have to be present, otherwise you get kicked out of the course,” Taehyung muttered while standing up.

“You can shower here though,” Jimin said, turning his eyes up like Jungkook while remaining seated.

“I’ll take out some comfy big clothes for you, I sure have something that fits you. Bathroom is down the corridor on the right.”

“Thanks,” Taehyung yawned as he stretched his arms widely before waddling off.  
“Sometimes he reminds me of a big penguin,” Jimin muttered to himself.  
He then turned to Jungkook  
“What do you think?”  
“Bear,” the latter responded.  
“Tae always reminds me of a bear.”  
A little smile crawled on Jimin’s lips, he disregarded the distance and cuddled close instead.

“Yeah, he’s our little bear,” Jimin mumbled, pretending to overhear the giddy little sound Jungkook made at the contact.

Jimin had scheduled to meet with Hoseok that day, and Jungkook didn’t exactly feel like tagging along, so Jimin left him to his own devices. Separating with a big hug and a promising kiss on the cheek. Taehyung had left some hours ago, the same kiss lingering upon his cheeks, making him touch them in awe in his lecture, scared he’ll eventually take away the feeling of guttural warmth, but never ending up doing that.

Beyond the scene | BTS

October 22nd, 14:30

Namjoon: we need all the parts of the choreography until next week so we can start practicing the whole thing. How’s the process coming along?

Jin: I’m finished with my part

Hoseok: Samesies

Jin: Can we all admire my part it’s fricking amazing and that just because of our Taehyungie (*＾3＾）/～♡

Guk: Don’t send him kisses (•ˋ _ ˊ•)

Jin: Why? You finally got off your ass and got yourself a boyfriend?

Guk: ....  
Guk: No

Jimin: Don’t bully Jungkookie, he just gets jealous easily :( 

Guk: Wait, I need to correct myself: I did get off my ass, I have a boyfriend now, it’s just not Taehyung but I’ll get him too! Some time! (No pressure, tho)

Yoongi: What  
Yoongi: Who  
Yoongi: Not that I care

Jackson: right, cuz yoongi obviously isn’t the most invested out of all of us

Yoongi: oi, fight me kid

Jimin: it’s a me, Mario 

Youngjae: didn’t see that coming

Jaebum: actually saw that coming from miles away, remember Jin’s birthday? 

Youngjae: that was yesterday

Jaebum: yes and you were also so drunk I cannot assume you remember anything, can I? :)

Youngjae:....true oof 

Namjoon: guys...

Jimin: sorry joon! I think we’re all finished

Namjoon: then let’s all send a video of our part. I think hoseok has them mostly? 

Hoseok: yeah. But it’s still the individual message of all of them! I just did some help

Yugyeom: shuddup you did most of it lmao give yourself some credit

Bambam: yeah! Credit to our incredible choreographer! 

Hoseok: shut up

Hoseok: Yugyeom. MP4  
Hoseok: BamBam. MP4

Jin: Me.MP4

Hoseok: Me.MP4

BamBam: great minds think alike

Youngjae: you know in Germany they say: ‘two buffoons, one thought’?

BamBam: shut up Youngjae

Hoseok: Jackson.MP4  
Hoseok: Jaebum.MP4

You: Taehyung.MP4

Namjoon: I’m proud of you all

17:00 

Namjoon: Taehyung that’s... that’s just not you 

Jaebum: kind of felt the same way, didn’t know how to put it into words

Jimin: Tae...?

Taehyung hadn’t checked his phone in a while now. He felt too guilty because he knew he was supposed to have this individual message, but instead he had done a choreography to impress. Nothing like himself, just something for show. Obviously everyone had noticed.

So after uni he locked himself up in his dorm room and started doing choreography. The words never stopped making him want to cry, but at some points there were no tears left in his body and he still hadn’t found how to do it.

His phone screen lit up.

Namjoon: if it’s too difficult someone else can help you  
Namjoon: don’t pressure yourself too much

But that only made everything worse. He knew in the logical part of his brain that Namjoon was just being nice, but currently it just felt like an insult, like he thought he wasn’t able to do it. 

After hours he had made something up, just from scratch, something that hurt and felt too honest.  
His mouth tasted salty, most probably from both sweat and tears. He had accidentally hit his head on a drawer when he lost his balance too. Mistakes over mistakes, but that’s how you learn dancing.

Summed up he was a mess and he did look it, but he needed to do this now.

It was time to text them.

Boys skr skr

21:40

You: Can we meet?

Jimin: Where? 

Guk: Wanna come to my place? My parents are out

So they did that.

When Taehyung rang the bell of the little family house both Jungkook and Jimin opened the door. He looked at them, imagining how miserable he must look with swollen eyes and red nose and his unbelievable fake grin on his face.

He wanted to say something, make a joke, but Jungkook was already jumping down the step of distance, crushing him in a hug.

“Oh Tae,” he heard Jimin mumble, so miserably pitiful, he wanted to cry again. 

“Oh honey bear, come inside.” 

And he did, with Jungkook intertwining their fingers and pulling him along into the warm house. 

“What’s the problem?” Jimin asked looking more concerned than ever.  
“Ugh, can you maybe just sit down and I’ll show you?”

They did without further conversation. 

Taehyung pulled out his phone and started the audio that had torn him down half of the day.

My heart stopped when I was maybe nine or ten. Looking back I think that’s when I began to worry about what other people thought of me and started seeing myself through their eyes. I stopped looking up at the night skies, the stars. I stopped daydreaming. Instead, I just tried to jam myself into the moulds that other people made. Soon, I began to shut out my own voice and started to listen to the voices of others. 

No one called out my name and neither did I.

My heart stopped and my eyes closed shut. 

So, like this I, we all lost our names. 

When Taehyung finished dancing he was breathing harshly. Not, because the choreo was so exhausting, it was, but what was more exhaustion were the emotions he had to show so openly and honestly, all through Namjoon’s speech and now additionally in front of people. 

“Tae, it’s....”  
“It’s amazing,” Jimin whispered.  
“Seriously, more than I could’ve ever imagined,” Jungkook agreed.  
“I’m sorry it took such a toll on you,” Jimin muttered, looking into Taehyung’s swollen eyes. 

“I just hope the crew will like this version. I don’t feel like I’ll be able to do another choreo,” Taehyung laughed.

“No, obviously they won’t. How long did this take you?”

“Like three hours?”  
Jungkook laughed under a sob.  
“Taehyung that’s crazy long for a choreo. Seokjin did his part in like half an hour.”  
“I know, but just because I put time in it doesn’t mean it has to be good.”  
“That’s true, but just look at Jungkook! He’s crying because of it, Tae. And so am I, and I’ve seen a shit ton of stuff, ok? The crew will like this, believe us.”

And they did.

Taehyung showed them at the next practice, earning only compliments. 

“I think I wanna do it solo,” he said to Namjoon afterwards.  
“And then I wanna pick people up while I do it. But only for one line, the line that best suits them, maybe.”

“Shit that would be nice, I also don’t think we have that yet, but let’s come back to that when we actually do the positions and see who takes part in which choreo. For now we should really focus on practicing the whole thing and we’ll get to the detail later.”

Taehyung nodded because that was the natural process, he was just glad that Namjoon took his input seriously even if it came early.

Finals came.

The flight was really, really interesting. Taehyung found that he was actually scared of flying, but after talking to Jin for about an hour and spilling all his fears Jimin pulled his head down into his shoulder where he immediately fell asleep.  
They all had to take a weekend off because the location was set in Germany, but to them it was completely worth it.

Taehyung wasn’t so sure because as a student he had not that much money to spend for free time activities, but when they stood in front of the theater they were going to perform in and when he saw all the other dancers practicing, stretching and talking, the energy finally caught on and he remembered that this feeling of belonging had no price tag.

Taehyung found himself where he had met Beyond the scene for the first time two years ago: in the locker room backstage at the finals. 

“So, everybody familiar with our ritual?” Namjoon asked, changed into his outfit, jumping up and down while shaking his hands to get rid of the excitement.

“Bangtan Bangtan one more time?” Taehyung asked curiously.

“Yes,” Yoongi confirmed.

They gathered in a circle, all looking different levels of stressed out.

“By the way, where did that even come from?” Taehyung asked.  
“Oh Jimin, Hoseok, Joon and I were once a street dance group,” Yoongi explained.  
“When we became serious about competition we decided to change our name, because, you know, we grew beyond the scene, as in the street scene. Not that the street scene isn’t good, you learn a shit ton, it’s just that we grew beyond it because we went into another scene, the competition scene, as well.” 

“Great, now that that’s off the table let’s do our shout, please? Yes?” Yugyeom said, not so patient now with his nerves wrecked.

“One,” Namjoon counted.  
“Two, three.”

“Bangtan Bangtan one more time!” 

-

Being on stage with Bts was such a delightful feeling, right from the very start when they filled in. Adrenaline rushed through Taehyung’s place as he walked right to Jimin’s side, just like Jungkook’s idea had been in the very beginning of their creation process.

And Jimin send him one last smile before the lights focused on them and their speech started.

Taehyung was so wound up with happy feelings, he almost struggled showing the hurt they wanted to express for most of the choreography.

He managed, mostly because the energy in the whole theater was crazy. The other part helping him out was the crew supporting him and each other. Just for example Taehyung crashed into Jaebum backstage real bad, but no hard feelings. It was really dark and they ran to get to the next position they had to be at. Such things happen.

Their choreography started with their whole crew on stage and mostly it stayed that way, but just when Taehyung and Jaebum ran straight into each other backstage Seokjin stood in the center of the stage, the other guys surrounding him but frozen in their positions. Something he would’ve loved to see, but sadly not all ideas he had could become true. 

They finished just to run into a big group hug right there on stage. When they finally cleared Namjoon gave them all an individual hug, telling them how proud he was and how good they did.

“I’m so relieved,” Jungkook gasped between big gulps of his water.  
“In between I thought I was going to break out crying.”  
“Really? I had trouble getting deeply into the mood because I was so excited and happy to be on stage,” Taehyung replies grabbing his own water bottle.

“Seriously?” Jungkook asked.  
“But you were amazing! Your part and when you danced with me was what almost made me cry,” he admitted.

Taehyung didn’t even notice that the others were already walking towards the locker rooms as he was talking to Jungkook.

“Wow,” he mumbled.  
“Can I kiss you?”

Jungkook almost choked on his water, wiping his mouth hastily before finally answering: “You sure that’s not just the adrenaline talking?” 

Taehyung shook his head. Because he knew it wasn’t. 

Jungkook nodded, his long hair bouncing freely around his head. 

“Then it’s a yes,” he mumbled, getting up from where he was sitting in the corridor, drinking his water.  
They were both sweaty, but Taehyung didn’t mind. His hands once again found their place in Jungkook’s locks, his favorite place to rest his fingers.

They kissed.

Jungkook’s lips were soft against his own, something he really appreciated. He never understood why someone would take care of their lips like Jungkook did with all that lip balm, now he kind of felt bad for not taking care of his own lips. 

“Wait,” Jungkook gasped, pulling away from Taehyung.  
“Does this mean you want to be my boyfriend now?”

“Our boyfriend?” Jimin suddenly came walking into the corridor, smile big on his face. 

He held out two water bottles, not passing them in case they didn’t care for them. But Jungkook and Taehyung gladly separated to gulp down some water.

Jungkook and Jimin were expectantly waiting, both their pupils dilated, although only Jungkook had kissed Taehyung yet. Well, looking at the one you love can already cause that change and for Jimin it always did when it came to Taehyung.

“Yes.”

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so links:  
Brotherhood Body Rock 2016: https://youtu.be/uq2Dfp5MzpI  
Let’s dance the night away, dance practice: https://youtu.be/mr5bu2cxdzU  
Aliens Crew: https://youtu.be/4e91LFMddWM  
Gravy babies: https://youtu.be/H3gwRjHz7qU  
On Instagram:  
@/ayden_ngyuen  
@/mattsteffanina 
> 
> The /actual/ finals competition in 2019 (just linking the first place here, but you can click through all the videos from there):  
https://youtu.be/w3wYLidt4nY
> 
> Taehyung’s part of Namjoon’s speech: https://youtu.be/oTe4f-bBEKg  
Seokjin’s part of the speech: https://youtu.be/5nnAeykcoYE
> 
> Please leave kudos and comments for this meant so much to me! :)


End file.
